Divorce Help – How to Let Go When You Still Love Your Ex
Posted: Thursday, September 18, 2008
by Danielle Taylor
Xstilla
This article provides readers with divorce help and advice about letting go when you still love your ex. Some tips include changing your focal point, accepting the truth, making a journal, and more.
If you've gotten a divorce but didn't really want it, it's easy to feel crushed. This happens to many people, but most of the time they learn how to accept the truth and move on with their lives. If you're having trouble letting go, you probably feel depressed, angry, disappointed, bitter and more. The truth is that you need to learn to let go of all of this! It's essential if you ever hope to have a happy, normal and healthy life. Here are some important tips for how to let go when you still love your ex.
If you're finding it hard to let go, one of the best things you can do is change your focal point. When you're too busy looking back, it's easy to slam into something that is ahead of you. Look forward and find something that you can get passionate about. For instance, is there a hobby that you particularly enjoy or something that you can get passionate about? If so, start doing it. Take some classes so that you can improve yourself and know that your life will change for the better. By holding on when there is nothing left to hold on to, your life will almost certainly remain difficult and unhappy.
Force Yourself to Accept the Truth
Sometimes it can be difficult to accept things for what they really are. Understand that you're divorced and that you will probably never get back together with your ex spouse. When you think about your spouse, follow it up with a thought about your own future and the many possibilities you have. Then, mentally wish your ex spouse well in his or her future life. It's important that you accept the truth because it is the first step to moving on and making a better life for yourself. Without the acceptance, you will remain hollow, depressed and sad. However, when you accept the truth and focus your mind and energy on your own future, you will be surprised how soon things start to get better for you!
Make a Journal
Writing in a journal is something that a lot of people do. Not only is this a great way to get your feelings off your chest, but it's also a great way to track your improvement. When you see yourself becoming happier through your journal entries, you will be encouraged to do more and to focus more on your future. When you write something about your ex, make a deal with yourself. You're getting it down on paper so you can get it out of your mind. Once you write it down, stop thinking about it until the next time you need to write something. This will help keep you from dwelling on the past and allow you to look toward your own happiness.
It's very difficult when you still love your ex and you just don't want to let go. However, remember that things happen for a reason and usually when one door closes, several others open for you. Look forward to the opening of those doors and realize that your life will get better and you may end up being glad you are no longer with your ex.
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Top-level comments on this article: (2 total)The article was helpful because, I experienced the freedom from looking back once I began to focus on me instead of we.....I feel that when separation, and then divorce is event that there is no longer a partenership but an ownership, you have your life back therefore you must take charge once again.
I have been trapped in this sort of emotions of many years. Having young children at the time of my ex-infidelity and having to deal with him about the kids ...has produced in me a chronic wound - one that heals for a while and then bleeds again to start the process all over again. While some has healed, the scars are immense and painful. I would say that based on my own experience, it's important to recognize that the ex that you still love is not the person your ex has become but the ideal of what you once had and that's difficult to accept let alone understand. I see my ex- and he has the face of the man I still love ..but he is not the same man and does n't want the same things we shared at some point. He's decided to make a life apart from me. The hard thing is to come to an emotional funeral and burial of the person you once had and accept that the one that is around is simply the father of the kids....I know it's most difficult ...I know....but in the end...my life is worth something and he didn't know it. So, I shouldn't continue to hit my head on a wall hoping that, in time, tuns into a window .....
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